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      • 38. Reckoned Righteous by Works
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      • 40. One of the Greatest Need America
      • 41. Your Memorial Table
      • 42. George W. Bush Verses Saddam Hussein
      • 43. Learning to Listen
      • 44. The Problem with Gambling
      • 45. Memorial Day
      • 46. My Ecounter with an Orthhodox Jew
      • 47. Scott Free
      • 48. What My Auto Accident Taught Me
      • 49. The Decline in Family Living
      • 50. Give Me a Problem
      • 51. Decoding the Da Vinci Code
      • 52. Thanksgiving is not a Holiday
      • 53. What a Christmas Present!
    • 2004 Articles 54-67 >
      • 54. What Do You Mean by that?
      • 55. What are Parents to Do?
      • 56. "The Passion of Christ"
      • 57. Martha Stewart's Greatest Lesson
      • 58. Same Sex Marriage
      • 59. A Tribute to a Servant
      • 60. Happy Marriages
      • 61. Independence
      • 62. Kerry's Logic
      • 63. The Olympic Spirit
      • 64. Playing Cards
      • 65. Cardinal Virtures
      • 66. Now that the Election is over
      • 67. Tribute to My Mother
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      • 68. Real Spiritual Growth
      • 69. No Time to Think
      • 70. The Ten Commandments Controversy
      • 71. Do We Need a Pope?
      • 72. Everybody Loves Raymond
      • 73. Examples Worthy of Note
      • 74. How Two Different People Learned to Get Along
      • 75. "The God who Wasn't"
      • 76. Katrina and Now Rita!
      • 77. Would You Say "No" to $4 Million?
      • 78. "In God We Trust"
      • 79. The Redemption of Tookie Willaims
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      • 80. Is Religion a Problem?
      • 81. The Rights of the Born
      • 82. Did You Hear What She Said about Muslims?
      • 83. Judas: Betrayer or Best Friend?
      • 84. Weekend or Week--Beginning?
      • 85. A Tribute to My (Spiritual) Father
      • 86. Your Relationship to the Word of God
      • 87. What an Opportunity!
      • 88. America's Four Gods
      • 89. How to Deal with Your Enemies
      • 90. The Case for Systematic Exposition
      • 91. Don't Miss the Message
    • 2007 Articles 92-104 >
      • 92. I can Afford it!
      • 93. The Gospel according to Patricia
      • 94. The Functional Church
      • 95. Who wants to Deal with a Taxman?
      • 96. Vital Virtures
      • 97. Have You Grown up Yet?
      • 98. A July 4th Reminder
      • 99. The Volume of Silence
      • 100. Biblical Illiteracy
      • 101. A Modest Political Propospal
      • 102. How to Handle Credit Cards
      • 103. When it is Tough to be Thankful
      • 104. Romney's Religion
    • 2008 Articles 105-114 >
      • 105. Continue
      • 106. A Tribute to Jack
      • 107. Why Good Ftiday?
      • 108. Happy Birthday
      • 109. The Most Important Room in the House
      • 110. The 80-20 Rule
      • 111. Be Sensible
      • 112. To Be Like Christ
      • 113. Sweet Reasonableness
      • 114. The Other Benefit of Christmas
    • 2009 Articles 115-126 >
      • 115. What Determines who Obtains Eternal Life?
      • 116. The Healing Touch
      • 117. The Function of Dysfunction
      • 118. When Your World Falls Apart
      • 119. 24-7-365
      • 120. To Complain or not to Complain
      • 121. "Suggestions"
      • 122. Making a Mark
      • 123. God's Timing
      • 124. Jesus Wept
      • 125. Andrew
      • 126. The Cost of Service
    • 2010 Articles 127-138 >
      • 127. Don't Ask; Don't Tell
      • 128. A Forest Dark
      • 129. The Rule of Law
      • 130. The Hits and Miss of Grace
      • 131. People Need the Lord
      • 132. Examples Worthy of Notes
      • 133. A Hassle Reduction Strategy
      • 134. Gossip
      • 135. My Favorite Poem
      • 136. Let's Put the Cross in its Place
      • 137. "Don't Spare Me"
      • 138 The Unseen Message of Christmas
    • 2011 Articles 139-147 >
      • 139. What Parents Should Teach their Children
      • 140. How to Avoid Having to Serve
      • 141. What Happen to Mike?
      • 142. An Atheist Recommends God
      • 143. Surprise
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      • 145. Union, Unity, and Uniformity
      • 146. Get in the Way
      • 147. "Let George do it."
    • 2012 Articles 148-160 >
      • 148. Truth or Consequences
      • 149. Don't Leave Home without it
      • 150. Take a Break
      • 151. The Worth of an Individual
      • 152. A Tribute to Nana
      • 153. Jesus Crossed the Line
      • 154. Thomas Jefferson
      • 155. Taxes
      • 156. You Must be Present to Win
      • 157. A Grandfather's Wish
      • 158. Trials. Temptations, and Tests
      • 159. Is There a Santa Claus?
      • 160. A Tribute to Sumner Wemp
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      • 161. How to Finish Well
      • 162. Rewards
      • 163. Spiritual Binging
      • 164. There is no way out of this one
      • 165. Half Empty or Half Full
      • 166. Nones
      • 167. Greet One Another with a Holy Kiss
      • 168. God's Answer to Atheism
      • 169. Obedience
      • 170. The Problem of Fellowship with God
      • 171. Character Development
      • 172. For Mercy's Sake
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      • 173. Lies
      • 174. Endure to the End
      • 175. Teaching Children How Money Grows
      • 176. The Principle of Delay
      • 177. By Their Fruit
      • 178. Sermons that Changed My Life
      • 179. If Paul Harvey were the Devil
      • 180. The Principle of Practice
    • 2015 Articles 181- >
      • 181. In Wrath Remember Mercy
      • 182. Choosing the Right Shepherd
      • 183. The Lord's Requirements
      • 184. Your Ear Lobe. Thumb, and Big Toe
      • More articles will be added as they are written
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What Do You Mean by that?

This is a parable. It is not about church.

I have often heard people use the expression, “This is my church.” As a pastor, I can’t help but wonder what they mean by that. It doesn’t take must reflection to figure out that there all kind of options.

For some, it means nothing more than, “If I went to church, that is where I would go.” There is a story that has floated around for years about a pastor who was shopping in a department store. As he was talking to a clerk, the subject of church came up in the conversation. When he asked her which church she attended, she named a church and spoke of it in glowing terms. The way she talked, it sounded as if she were a regular attendee. The minister to whom she was speaking had been the pastor of that church for years, but he had never seen her in church one single time. By the expression “my church,” she meant, “The church I would go to, if I went to church.”

Others use the expression “my church” and they actually go. Well, they attend the Christmas and Easter services. On Easter Sunday, Dr. Louis Talbot, the famous pastor of the Church of the Open Door, used to wish his congregation “Merry Christmas,” because, as he explained, he would not see some of them again until Christmas.

Of course, there are those who say, “my church” and attend more than on Christmas and Easter. They may even darken the door once a month, or so.

Then, there are those who call their church, “my church” and don’t just attend periodically; they attend faithfully, but only on Sunday morning. Moreover, that is all they do, just attend.

The ultimate is for someone to say “my church” and mean by that “I faithfully attend. I am involved. I serve. I give—faithfully.”

At the beginning, I said this was a parable. While it is true that it could serve as a sermon, I have in mind something different.

Recently, Patricia and I were counseling with a married couple. During the conversation, they both used the expression “my marriage.” As Patricia and I listened, it became apparent that what she meant by “my marriage” was radically different from what he meant. Conflict was created between them, because each was trying to get the other to conform to their meaning of “marriage.”

I told them that the object of marriage was companionship, not combat and that it was a process of two becoming one (Gen. 2:24). I suggested that they were using the same words, but different dictionaries and I used the expression “my church” to illustrate.” They got it and they are doing well, very well.

May I ask you, “What do you mean by ‘my marriage?’” Perhaps, you and your mate should make sure that both of you are using the same dictionary.

                              © G. Michael Cocoris, 1/31/2004
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