"I have a Problem."
People have problems. Granted, some problems are slight and others are severe, but everyone, without exception, has problems. No one has arrived.
So, you would think, that it would be easy to simply say, “I have a problem.” Or “It is my fault.” Or “I have sinned.” Is such the case? Not even close!
After over forty years of talking to people, it seems to me, that people will do just about anything rather than face the reality about themselves.
People deceive themselves. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9). Commenting on that verse, Paul Meier, the Christian psychiatrist, once said to me, “and we deceive ourselves more than anyone else.” According to James, it is even possible to look in the Word and see ourselves and then deceive ourselves (Jas. 1:22-24). John adds, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves” (1 Jn. 1:8). Psychologists call this “denial.”
People shift the blame. This maneuver is as old as Adam. He told God, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12). Caught red handed, Adam was forced to admit the truth, but first, he subtly blamed his wife and even God! We blame our genes, our early environment, our circumstances, our mate, our children, our job, etc. We’re pros at it. Psychologists call this “rationalization.”
In denying accountability and shifting the blame away from responsibility, some conclude, “I am a problem.” They play the “woe is me” game. Rather than simply saying, “I have a problem,” they go to the extreme of “I am a problem.” Psychologists call this low self-esteem. If you are a believer, you are a new person in Christ. You have a new divine nature and the Holy Spirit. You are not a problem, but you also still have the flesh. So, you have a problem.
The first step in solving a problem is identifying it. I have often told people that 50% of solving a problem is finding out what it is. Jesus put it this way, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (Jn. 8:32). The Greek word translated “truth” means “reality.” To be free from a problem, we must first face reality and the reality is that “I have a problem.” It is not, “Someone else (my mother, my brother, my mate, my boss) has a problem.” Or “I am a problem,” but “I have a problem and I need to identify it, so I can solve it.
Several things need to be clarified. This is not to say that others do not have a problem. They do. They are human too. Nevertheless, in the midst of the mess, I have a problem, which may be that I need to forgive. Also, by saying that you need to solve it, I do not mean to imply that you can do that alone. You may need the help of others (Phil. 4:3) and the Lord (Jn 15:5; Phil. 4:13), but the process begins with, “I have a problem.”
© G. Michael Cocoris, 4/17/2002
So, you would think, that it would be easy to simply say, “I have a problem.” Or “It is my fault.” Or “I have sinned.” Is such the case? Not even close!
After over forty years of talking to people, it seems to me, that people will do just about anything rather than face the reality about themselves.
People deceive themselves. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9). Commenting on that verse, Paul Meier, the Christian psychiatrist, once said to me, “and we deceive ourselves more than anyone else.” According to James, it is even possible to look in the Word and see ourselves and then deceive ourselves (Jas. 1:22-24). John adds, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves” (1 Jn. 1:8). Psychologists call this “denial.”
People shift the blame. This maneuver is as old as Adam. He told God, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12). Caught red handed, Adam was forced to admit the truth, but first, he subtly blamed his wife and even God! We blame our genes, our early environment, our circumstances, our mate, our children, our job, etc. We’re pros at it. Psychologists call this “rationalization.”
In denying accountability and shifting the blame away from responsibility, some conclude, “I am a problem.” They play the “woe is me” game. Rather than simply saying, “I have a problem,” they go to the extreme of “I am a problem.” Psychologists call this low self-esteem. If you are a believer, you are a new person in Christ. You have a new divine nature and the Holy Spirit. You are not a problem, but you also still have the flesh. So, you have a problem.
The first step in solving a problem is identifying it. I have often told people that 50% of solving a problem is finding out what it is. Jesus put it this way, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (Jn. 8:32). The Greek word translated “truth” means “reality.” To be free from a problem, we must first face reality and the reality is that “I have a problem.” It is not, “Someone else (my mother, my brother, my mate, my boss) has a problem.” Or “I am a problem,” but “I have a problem and I need to identify it, so I can solve it.
Several things need to be clarified. This is not to say that others do not have a problem. They do. They are human too. Nevertheless, in the midst of the mess, I have a problem, which may be that I need to forgive. Also, by saying that you need to solve it, I do not mean to imply that you can do that alone. You may need the help of others (Phil. 4:3) and the Lord (Jn 15:5; Phil. 4:13), but the process begins with, “I have a problem.”
© G. Michael Cocoris, 4/17/2002
