Gossip
We love to gossip. Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.” This issue is so important that Solomon emphasizes it by saying it twice. This proverb is repeated in Proverbs 26:22. People swallow gossip as if it was a delicious dessert. One commentator says gossip is “eagerly devoured by the listeners. It is almost as if the listeners say, ‘Yum, yum. I like that. Tell me more!’” (MacDonald). The news media discovered a long time ago that scandal sells. As someone in the news business said, “There is money in muck.”
There are several different ways to practice the fine art of gossip. Among friends, we use the blunt technique, saying, “Let me tell you what I just heard.” The sensitive are more subtle. They might use the balanced approach, introducing the gossip with, “On the one hand, Sister Sally is such a sweet person, but on the other hand, she can really be nasty at times.” Those who think of themselves as spiritual utilize the pseudo-spiritual method, beginning with, “I need to share this with you so that we can pray about it.”
Needless to say, gossip hurts others, but it also affects the one who gossips! Notice that Solomon says, “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body” (Prov. 18:8, italics added). Gossip is like a digested dessert, it affects the inner most parts, the hearts. Once lodged in the mind and heart, gossip affects our attitude and our actions toward people and groups.
If you wish to deal with the gossip habit, you must remember that it is out of the abundance of the heart that we speak (Lk. 6:45). What lurks in the dark recesses of our heart that makes us gossip? For some, it is that it makes them feel good about themselves. They feel they are “good judges of character,” or they feel they are “better than” the subject of the gossip, or they feel “in the know” when they relay the information. For some, it is the way they feel about the one who is the object of the gossip. Down deep they do not like that person or the organization that person represents.
From a biblical point of view, we gossip because of a lack of love. Solomon says, “Love covers all sins” (Prov. 10:12). Paul says love does not rejoice in iniquity (1 Cor. 13:6). Simply put, we do not broadcast the sins of people we love. In fact, when we love somebody, we are slow to even believe the gossip in the first place. When we hear gossip about someone we care about, we tend to automatically become their defense attorney, instead of those prosecutor, jury, and judge. So the solution to gossip is not some superficial restraint on speech. It is a restructuring of the attitudes of the heart. The more we becomes a loving person, the less likely we are to advertise all we hear about others.
Solomon also says, “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter” (Prov. 11:13). Again Solomon speaks about the fact that talebearers spill secrets, only in this proverb he adds that some conceal the matter, which indicates that they know something they do not reveal. What is the difference between those who tattle and those who don’t? Those who don’t tell tales have a faithful spirit. The difference is their faithful, loving spirit.
© G. Michael Cocoris, 8/302010
There are several different ways to practice the fine art of gossip. Among friends, we use the blunt technique, saying, “Let me tell you what I just heard.” The sensitive are more subtle. They might use the balanced approach, introducing the gossip with, “On the one hand, Sister Sally is such a sweet person, but on the other hand, she can really be nasty at times.” Those who think of themselves as spiritual utilize the pseudo-spiritual method, beginning with, “I need to share this with you so that we can pray about it.”
Needless to say, gossip hurts others, but it also affects the one who gossips! Notice that Solomon says, “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body” (Prov. 18:8, italics added). Gossip is like a digested dessert, it affects the inner most parts, the hearts. Once lodged in the mind and heart, gossip affects our attitude and our actions toward people and groups.
If you wish to deal with the gossip habit, you must remember that it is out of the abundance of the heart that we speak (Lk. 6:45). What lurks in the dark recesses of our heart that makes us gossip? For some, it is that it makes them feel good about themselves. They feel they are “good judges of character,” or they feel they are “better than” the subject of the gossip, or they feel “in the know” when they relay the information. For some, it is the way they feel about the one who is the object of the gossip. Down deep they do not like that person or the organization that person represents.
From a biblical point of view, we gossip because of a lack of love. Solomon says, “Love covers all sins” (Prov. 10:12). Paul says love does not rejoice in iniquity (1 Cor. 13:6). Simply put, we do not broadcast the sins of people we love. In fact, when we love somebody, we are slow to even believe the gossip in the first place. When we hear gossip about someone we care about, we tend to automatically become their defense attorney, instead of those prosecutor, jury, and judge. So the solution to gossip is not some superficial restraint on speech. It is a restructuring of the attitudes of the heart. The more we becomes a loving person, the less likely we are to advertise all we hear about others.
Solomon also says, “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter” (Prov. 11:13). Again Solomon speaks about the fact that talebearers spill secrets, only in this proverb he adds that some conceal the matter, which indicates that they know something they do not reveal. What is the difference between those who tattle and those who don’t? Those who don’t tell tales have a faithful spirit. The difference is their faithful, loving spirit.
© G. Michael Cocoris, 8/302010